you ask , you ask

you ask me why

i hide these eyes

behind dark shades

you ask me why
i'v kept  them sheltered through the years

and why  don't i want you to see
what you politely term

"the real me"

the answer is simple
yet to you it may not be clear

i wear the shades as a mask

to cover invisible  tears
to cover invisible fears
to hide scars inside me

because when i finally let you see
you display a shocking glare

you look at  my eyes in disbelief
never into my eyes

you gaze upon my hidden soul
my sadness and my grief

you finally witness what's really there
face to face with my stare

but then how could you understand
the how of this and when it came to be

the why of what a moment in time did to me
the things that happened to this man

in a place where life changed my plans
in a distant land across the sea

a place where i learned to cry
but kept the tears deep inside

a place where men didn't say "goodnight"
a place where morning never came

a place where time swallowed friends
with the coming and setting of the sun

a place where a laugh assuming happiness
was a mask  filled with sorrow and pain

you ask,  you ask

you ask me why

about situations  too difficult to grasp
and time should seem to mend it all

but time has played a different game
on those of us who went away

on those of us who answered the call
many whose names are on the wall

those that were to remain

you ask, you ask

you ask me why

i get angry over petty stuff
and why the crowds bother me

or why i wake up screaming
body full of sweat

after all night dreaming

the answer is very simple
but may not be clear to you

of all the moments in my life
how come that one hasn't left me yet

you ask, you ask

you ask me why

i've built a prison around me
and at times i need to be alone

and stay inside day in day out

the answer is very simple

yet difficult to tell you about
my actions that  are always in doubt

from the pain that still remains
from the  hesitation and uncertainties

i have come to know
leftover reminders of the war

and a fear if i were to open my door

as through my brain
bits and pieces soar

you want to know why must i

upon entering a room
the area is swept  searching for a space

where i can sit with my back against the wall
where i can keep my eyes on the entire place

you ask me why

i hide behind these shades

the answer is very simple

i'm the man war made